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Five surgeons (0)Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my ... |
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The neighbour (0)bob looked over the fence to see why his neighbour was digging and said to his neighbour' why are u digging and his neighbour said ''my fish is dead ... |
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Unfaithful Wife (0)A guy tells his psychiatrist: It was terrible. I was away on business, and I wired my wife that I'd be back a day early. I rushed home from the ... |
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Breakfast at any time. (0)I went to a restaurant with a sign that said they served breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. |
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Sherlock Holmes (0)Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours ... |
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How to annoy a archaeologist (0)How do you annoy an archaeologist? give him a tampon and ask what period it came from. |
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Mental Release (0)A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The ... |
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Lethal Food (0)A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting ... |
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Labour Pains (0)A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would ... |
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Crazy Patients (0)A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending ... |
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Cremate Me (0)A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And ... |
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Circumcision (0)Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, "What are you in here for?" The other says, ... |
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The Doctor (0)A Doctor passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately, he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, ... |
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Four Types of Patients (0)Some surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to opperate on. You open ... |
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Doctor And Lawyer Talk (0)A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the ... |
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Doctor Orders A Birthday Cake (0)For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: "You are not getting older, You are just getting better." When ... |
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Old Country Delivery (0)An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no ... |
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Negotiations (0)Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe ... |
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Do You Have The Time (0)A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell ... |
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Skeletons fight (0)Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other? A. They don't have the guts. |
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Drive them wild (0)Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money |
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Baby Hermaphrodite (0)A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, "I have something to tell you about your child.." The woman ... |
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Garden of Eden (0)Adam was strolling through the Garden of Eden, and he asked God, "God can you put someone else on this planet with me? It's kind of lonely ... |
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Efficiency Expert (0)An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody ... |
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Chinese Couple (0)A Chinese couple had a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy. "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new ... |
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Cosmetic Surgery (0)A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, ... |
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Family Pants (0)Jack and Jill were getting married. Jack was talking to his dad about the marriage when his dad says, "I remember when your mom and I got married. ... |
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Anniversary Flowers (0)A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on ... |
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Cheap Date (0)Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, Little Johnny's Father asked how much his last date had cost. Little Johnny calculated ... |
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Burglar (0)A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: ... |
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