At a White House party, a woman approached Calvin Coolidge, famed for his silence, and said "Mr. President, I made a bet I can get more than three ...
3 rooms (0)
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in. In the first room, ...
Hat (1)
A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "please God, save ...
Lotn of jokes (0)
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly
low ...
Pray (0)
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father,
I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know
how to say one ...
Military police (0)
Bob is hunted down by the military police and is charged with treason.
Bob says: "Hey man I was just watering the flowers man. I was just enjoying ...
School (0)
Teacher: We find that the x is 0.
Boy:So much hard time for nothing.
Most famous man (0)
One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was ...
Turkey problems (0)
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do ...
Bush and the Blackboard (0)
George W. Bush was giving a third-grader a lesson on politics. First he asked the kid to write "The President" on the blackboard.
Then Bush asked ...
Red Lights (0)
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. Cruising along, they came to an intersection. The ...
The Devil And The Golfer (0)
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this ...
Sheep (0)
Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.
The Dog's Duties (0)
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the ...
Sam (0)
Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.
Ears Lookin At You (0)
A man with no ears is trying to find a new reporter for their news show.
The first candidate walks in, and the boss says, "This job requires ...
Best Joke In UK (0)
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the ...
Best Joke In Germany (0)
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and ...
Best Joke In Canada (0)
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, ...
Best Joke In Austria (0)
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this ...
Best Joke In Northern Ireland (0)
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, ...
Best Joke In USA (0)
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral ...
Best Joke In Scotland (0)
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Best Joke In England (0)
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone ...
Texans In Hell (0)
A group of Texans are driving down the road, whooping it up, drinking beer and shooting off their guns when they get into an accident with busload of ...
Genie (0)
A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous ...
Best Joke In Wales (0)
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if ...