Added MoodyAnt
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Man of the house (0)A husband had just finished a book titled, "Man of the House." He stormed into the house and walked right up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her ... |
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All in the Family (0)A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was ... |
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Girl on the Beach (0)One day a man was walking on the beach and saw a girl with no arms or legs crying. The man went up to the girl and asked why she was crying. The ... |
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Signs You Had Too Much of the 90's (0)You try to enter your password on the microwave. You now think of three espresso's as "getting wasted." You no longer own a real deck of ... |
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God and WD-40 (0)There was once a woman who was married to a man who would make extremely load and disgusting farts every morning as soon as he woke up. Every time he ... |
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Nursing pup (0)The man was in a hurry to board the airplane and didn't have time to do the paperwork to get his little doggie on board. So the man stashed the puppy ... |
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Remote Control (0)"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed ... |
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Egg Donor (0)One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit ... |
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Take the Bait (0)It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a ... |
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Gossip Monger (0)"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not." "If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid ... |
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Artificial Respiration (0)While leading a party of Girl Scouts through the woods in silent Indian fashion, the troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple ... |
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A Terrible Headache (0)An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard ... |
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A Fly in my Beer (0)One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy ... |
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Depression (0)Lori, the pert and pretty nurse, took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she ... |
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WordPerfect Customer Support (1)Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee: "Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having ... |
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Honesty (0)An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she ... |
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A Talk (0)A professor was asked to give a talk on "Sex". When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone just so. He said, ... |
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Don't use the Lord's name in vain (0)After years of his wife's pleading, this good ol boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the ... |
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Embarrasing moment (0)An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. ... |
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Jury selection (0)A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing ... |
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The Surprised Drunk (0)A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the ... |
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Three Old Men (0)Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?" "274" was his reply. The ... |
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Punsihment (0)A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he ... |
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Not Talking to Each Other (0)A couple returned from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and ... |
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Plus sign (0)Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they ... |
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What Happened to the Woman (0)A police detective was investigating a homicide. As he questioned the on-scene officer, he learned the body was that of a young woman. The body was ... |
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The first man (0)A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show, one such woman was ... |
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At any drugstore (0)Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and ... |
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Cheap Drinks (0)A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender charges him 15 cents. Confused but not complaining, the man pays. After a while, he ... |
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Late For Work (0)Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't ... |
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