Added MoodyAnt
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All in the Family (0)A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was ... |
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Man of the house (0)A husband had just finished a book titled, "Man of the House." He stormed into the house and walked right up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her ... |
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Girl on the Beach (0)One day a man was walking on the beach and saw a girl with no arms or legs crying. The man went up to the girl and asked why she was crying. The ... |
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WordPerfect Customer Support (1)Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee: "Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having ... |
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Real friendship (0)Two friends were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered. Not only did the thieves clean out the tills, but also they walked around ith ... |
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The Little Girl and the Wrinkles (0)A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. ... |
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Gettin' Drunk (0)One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago and looks over and sees this guy that looks exactly like him. He says to the guy, “Hey you look ... |
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A Terrible Headache (0)An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard ... |
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Nursing pup (0)The man was in a hurry to board the airplane and didn't have time to do the paperwork to get his little doggie on board. So the man stashed the puppy ... |
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Signs You Had Too Much of the 90's (0)You try to enter your password on the microwave. You now think of three espresso's as "getting wasted." You no longer own a real deck of ... |
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Honesty (0)An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she ... |
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God and WD-40 (0)There was once a woman who was married to a man who would make extremely load and disgusting farts every morning as soon as he woke up. Every time he ... |
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Egg Donor (0)One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit ... |
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Gossip Monger (0)"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not." "If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid ... |
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Remote Control (0)"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed ... |
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A Talk (0)A professor was asked to give a talk on "Sex". When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone just so. He said, ... |
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Depression (0)Lori, the pert and pretty nurse, took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she ... |
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Don't use the Lord's name in vain (0)After years of his wife's pleading, this good ol boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the ... |
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Take the Bait (0)It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a ... |
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Artificial Respiration (0)While leading a party of Girl Scouts through the woods in silent Indian fashion, the troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple ... |
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Embarrasing moment (0)An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. ... |
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Chillin' Biddies (0)One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them. The first lady had a stroke, the ... |
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A Fly in my Beer (0)One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy ... |
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Who is God ? (0)A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?" "Both son. God is both." After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is ... |
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The Burned Ears (0)A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, ... |
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Jury selection (0)A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing ... |
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Post Scriptum (0)When the man came home, his wife was crying. "Your mother insulted me," she sobbed. "My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on ... |
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Surprise Package (0)A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?" ... |
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A Natural Blind (0)A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?" The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, ... |
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The Engineer and the Bike (0)Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I ... |
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