Jokes
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Mans (0)James asking:"Mum, I'm going to shop!""Ok, buy 1 liter milk to, please!"James: "Yes, I'm buying 1 meter milk to!" |
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All in the Family (0)A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was ... |
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Man of the house (0)A husband had just finished a book titled, "Man of the House." He stormed into the house and walked right up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her ... |
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Mounted Cop (0)There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. ''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ... |
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I can't remember (0)Q. What is your brother-in-law's name? A. Borofkin. Q. What's his first name? A. I can't remember. Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, ... |
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Two men (0)Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' ... |
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The Rescue (0)One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help. It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys ... |
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Girl on the Beach (0)One day a man was walking on the beach and saw a girl with no arms or legs crying. The man went up to the girl and asked why she was crying. The ... |
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WordPerfect Customer Support (1)Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee: "Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having ... |
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Real friendship (0)Two friends were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered. Not only did the thieves clean out the tills, but also they walked around ith ... |
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The Little Girl and the Wrinkles (0)A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. ... |
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Gettin' Drunk (0)One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago and looks over and sees this guy that looks exactly like him. He says to the guy, “Hey you look ... |
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A Terrible Headache (0)An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard ... |
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Helping Rapuntsel (2)Prince goes under Rapuntsel's window and says: "Rapuntsel, Rapuntsel, throw your hair under!" Inside the castle says a voice: "Rapuntsel can not ... |
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Good wife. (0)Charles was getting annoyed and shouted upstairs to his wife," Hurry up or we'll be late." "Oh, be quiet," replied his wife. "Haven't I been telling ... |
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Signs You Had Too Much of the 90's (0)You try to enter your password on the microwave. You now think of three espresso's as "getting wasted." You no longer own a real deck of ... |
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Nursing pup (0)The man was in a hurry to board the airplane and didn't have time to do the paperwork to get his little doggie on board. So the man stashed the puppy ... |
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Honesty (0)An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she ... |
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God and WD-40 (0)There was once a woman who was married to a man who would make extremely load and disgusting farts every morning as soon as he woke up. Every time he ... |
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Egg Donor (0)One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit ... |
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Remote Control (0)"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed ... |
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Embarrasing moment (0)An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. ... |
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Depression (0)Lori, the pert and pretty nurse, took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she ... |
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Gossip Monger (0)"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not." "If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid ... |
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A Talk (0)A professor was asked to give a talk on "Sex". When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone just so. He said, ... |
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Don't use the Lord's name in vain (0)After years of his wife's pleading, this good ol boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the ... |
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Take the Bait (0)It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a ... |
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Chillin' Biddies (0)One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them. The first lady had a stroke, the ... |
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Artificial Respiration (0)While leading a party of Girl Scouts through the woods in silent Indian fashion, the troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple ... |
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A Fly in my Beer (0)One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy ... |
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