Jokes
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A Fly in my Beer (0)One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy ... |
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Marriage's rings. (0)Marriage requires a man to prepare 3 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring |
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Who is God ? (0)A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?" "Both son. God is both." After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is ... |
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The Burned Ears (0)A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, ... |
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Jury selection (0)A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing ... |
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Sharks (0)3 Sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten. The first one says: I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy ... |
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Post Scriptum (0)When the man came home, his wife was crying. "Your mother insulted me," she sobbed. "My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on ... |
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Surprise Package (0)A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?" ... |
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A Natural Blind (0)A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?" The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, ... |
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Johnny Talks The Truth (0)Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said: "Well, George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Richard Nixon ... |
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The Engineer and the Bike (0)Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I ... |
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60 million (0)A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Cheney sitting over there?" The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over ... |
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Trade Talks (0)One day as President Clinton was getting off the helicopter in front of the White House, he had a baby pig under each arm. The Marine guard snapped ... |
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On The Road (0)Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde woman and an enormously large woman with an unfriendly scowl are in a train car. The train ... |
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Army training (0)At one army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been cancelled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was ... |
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Good beer (0)A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on ... |
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A Helpful Man (0)A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty ... |
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The Surprised Drunk (0)A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the ... |
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The Irishman's Wish (0)An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I ... |
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Three Old Men (0)Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?" "274" was his reply. The ... |
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True Love ? (0)The millionaire, examining a prospective son-in-law, demanded: "Would you love my daughter just as much if she were poor?" "Yes, of course, ... |
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What Happened to the Woman (0)A police detective was investigating a homicide. As he questioned the on-scene officer, he learned the body was that of a young woman. The body was ... |
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The first man (0)A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show, one such woman was ... |
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At any drugstore (0)Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and ... |
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Not Talking to Each Other (0)A couple returned from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and ... |
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Trouble sleeping (0)The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, ... |
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Punsihment (0)A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he ... |
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I often feel guilty (0)Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she ... |
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Plus sign (0)Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they ... |
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Bragging about old times (0)Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms ... |
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