Jokes
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Mounted Cop (0)There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. ''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ... |
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Mans (0)James asking:"Mum, I'm going to shop!""Ok, buy 1 liter milk to, please!"James: "Yes, I'm buying 1 meter milk to!" |
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Sharks (0)3 Sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten. The first one says: I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy ... |
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On The Road (0)Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde woman and an enormously large woman with an unfriendly scowl are in a train car. The train ... |
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Johnny Talks The Truth (0)Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said: "Well, George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Richard Nixon ... |
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60 million (0)A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Cheney sitting over there?" The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over ... |
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A Helpful Man (0)A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty ... |
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Marriage's rings. (0)Marriage requires a man to prepare 3 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring |
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Two men (0)Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' ... |
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I can't remember (0)Q. What is your brother-in-law's name? A. Borofkin. Q. What's his first name? A. I can't remember. Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, ... |
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Man of the house (0)A husband had just finished a book titled, "Man of the House." He stormed into the house and walked right up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her ... |
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All in the Family (0)A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was ... |
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Girl on the Beach (0)One day a man was walking on the beach and saw a girl with no arms or legs crying. The man went up to the girl and asked why she was crying. The ... |
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Signs You Had Too Much of the 90's (0)You try to enter your password on the microwave. You now think of three espresso's as "getting wasted." You no longer own a real deck of ... |
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God and WD-40 (0)There was once a woman who was married to a man who would make extremely load and disgusting farts every morning as soon as he woke up. Every time he ... |
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Nursing pup (0)The man was in a hurry to board the airplane and didn't have time to do the paperwork to get his little doggie on board. So the man stashed the puppy ... |
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Remote Control (0)"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed ... |
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Egg Donor (0)One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit ... |
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Take the Bait (0)It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a ... |
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Gossip Monger (0)"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not." "If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid ... |
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Artificial Respiration (0)While leading a party of Girl Scouts through the woods in silent Indian fashion, the troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple ... |
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A Terrible Headache (0)An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard ... |
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A Fly in my Beer (0)One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy ... |
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Depression (0)Lori, the pert and pretty nurse, took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she ... |
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WordPerfect Customer Support (1)Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee: "Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having ... |
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Honesty (0)An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she ... |
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A Talk (0)A professor was asked to give a talk on "Sex". When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone just so. He said, ... |
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Don't use the Lord's name in vain (0)After years of his wife's pleading, this good ol boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the ... |
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Embarrasing moment (0)An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. ... |
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Jury selection (0)A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing ... |
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