Jokes
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Hare and the three cake's (0)A hare is walking in the forest. Then it sees a cake. On the cake is writed: Eat me and you begin to beep. Haven't beep long time, thinks the hare ... |
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At The Vet (0)A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down ... |
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Fish hate.. (0)Which day of the week do fish hate?....... Fry-Day |
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Animal Feet (0)Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks. |
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Whos That Dog? (0)There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a ... |
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Two Rabbits (0)There were these two rabbits, Barry and Fred. They were being tested in a laboratory and after a few losses of hair and half of their teeth missing ... |
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Animal sounds (0)A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When ... |
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A cat goes to heaven (0)A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you ... |
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Tame The Lion (0)A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had any experience and the man ... |
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A snake's new glasses (0)A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses ... |
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Camel Questions (0)The little camel went to his mother and asked, "Mother, why do we camels have such big eyes?" She looked on him lovingly and replied, "You see, my ... |
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Cross-Eyed Dog (1)A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?" "Well," said the vet "let's have a ... |
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Piggies (0)Two little piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask the bartender, "Where's the bathroom?" The bartender points to the door and they rush in. Two ... |
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A snake in a bar (0)A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you." "Why not?" asks the snake. The bartender says, "Because you ... |
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I'd pet him frist (0)Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his ... |
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A horse walks into a bar (0)Horse walks into a bar, orders a beer, sits down at one of the tables, and starts reading his paper. The bartender is a bit shocked by all this, but ... |
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They're boasting about race records (0)Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another ... |
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A frog calls a psychic (0)Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his ... |
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A good chess player (0)A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly ... |
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Three very tough mice (0)Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness. The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of ... |
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Steven Wright on dogs (0)The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. I had a ... |
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Worries about mad cow disease (0)There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty ... |
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The story of the bats (0)Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood." "We're new ... |
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Never talk to the parrot (0)Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she ... |
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There was just a dog fight (0)A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?" "Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about ... |
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Pig in a bar (0)A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the ... |
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Three-Legged Race (0)One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running ... |
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A good chess player (0)A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly ... |
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A frog calls a psychic (0)A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The ... |
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Questions and answers (0)Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To show the armadillo that it was possible. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from ... |
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