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Cremate Me (0)A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And ... |
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The neighbour (0)bob looked over the fence to see why his neighbour was digging and said to his neighbour' why are u digging and his neighbour said ''my fish is dead ... |
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Five surgeons (0)Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my ... |
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The Doctor (0)A Doctor passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately, he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, ... |
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Circumcision (0)Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, "What are you in here for?" The other says, ... |
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Labour Pains (0)A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would ... |
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Unfaithful Wife (0)A guy tells his psychiatrist: It was terrible. I was away on business, and I wired my wife that I'd be back a day early. I rushed home from the ... |
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Mental Release (0)A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The ... |
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Crazy Patients (0)A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending ... |
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Breakfast at any time. (0)I went to a restaurant with a sign that said they served breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. |
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How to annoy a archaeologist (0)How do you annoy an archaeologist? give him a tampon and ask what period it came from. |
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Sherlock Holmes (0)Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours ... |
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Lethal Food (0)A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting ... |
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Four Types of Patients (0)Some surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to opperate on. You open ... |
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Swerve to avoid a box (0)Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for ... |
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Looking into their eyes (0)A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice ... |
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New person in prison (0)A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer ... |
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Catching the shoplifter (0)A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any ... |
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Dealing with criminals (0)A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this ... |
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Doctor And Lawyer Talk (0)A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the ... |
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Working in the garden (0)A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant ... |
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A test for being drunk (0)A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to ... |
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Dealing with a juggler (0)Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them ... |
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The reason for running (0)A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he ... |
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Should have glasses (0)A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I ... |
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Catch a drunk driver (0)Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, ... |
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Lost far from a home (0)A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman ... |
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Breaking into a house (0)A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in ... |
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Go give us a donation (0)Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's Al ... |
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Gates and Lightbulb (0)Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change the lightbulb?? A: None. He just calls a meeting & makes darkness the standard. |
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