Jokes
Best | Newest | Most comments | Most views | Favourites
|
Gates and Lightbulb (0)Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change the lightbulb?? A: None. He just calls a meeting & makes darkness the standard. |
|
Baby Hermaphrodite (0)A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, "I have something to tell you about your child.." The woman ... |
|
 |
||||
|
|
Where is your wife? (0)On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which ... |
|
Negotiations (0)Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe ... |
|
|
|
Doctor Orders A Birthday Cake (0)For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: "You are not getting older, You are just getting better." When ... |
|
Drive them wild (0)Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money |
|
|
|
Old Country Delivery (0)An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no ... |
|
Efficiency Expert (0)An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody ... |
|
|
|
Try to explain women (0)A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. "Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead". "OK," ... |
|
Garden of Eden (0)Adam was strolling through the Garden of Eden, and he asked God, "God can you put someone else on this planet with me? It's kind of lonely ... |
|
|
|
Skeletons fight (0)Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other? A. They don't have the guts. |
|
Do You Have The Time (0)A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell ... |
|
|
|
Undercover detective (0)A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?" "No, I am an undercover detective." "So why are you in uniform?" "Today is my day ... |
|
Judge has some fun (0)A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and ... |
|
|
|
How fast was I going? (0)"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old." |
|
The Farmer on the plane (0)A farmer, who is not familiar with new technolagy, never went on a plane, but had to visit his sick daughter in California. He asked the flight ... |
|
|
|
Two strings (0)These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this ... |
|
Airplane ride (0)A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," ... |
|
|
|
2 programmers on a highway (0)Two computer programmers are driving on a Highway. They switch on the radio and there is a warning: Please note that a car is driving on highway 75 ... |
|
Cheap Date (0)Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, Little Johnny's Father asked how much his last date had cost. Little Johnny calculated ... |
|
|
|
Beer, eh (0)A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer ... |
|
Female Comebacks (0)Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one ... |
|
|
|
A carrot in his ear (0)A guy goes into the bar with a carrot in his ear. He orders a drink. The bar tender wants to mention the carrot but doesn't. Next day the same guy ... |
|
Anniversary Flowers (0)A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on ... |
|
|
|
Bad News, Good News, Great News (0)The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. "We're sorry to call on you ... |
|
Burglar (0)A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: ... |
|
|
|
3 nuns (0)There were 3 nuns in the church 2 were crying 1 was laughing the preist walked up to a crying 1 and said 'why are you crying' the nun said i killed ... |
|
Mushroom in a bar (0)This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... She turns him down flat but the mushroom is persistent. Not willing, to give up, ... |
|
|
|
Family Pants (0)Jack and Jill were getting married. Jack was talking to his dad about the marriage when his dad says, "I remember when your mom and I got married. ... |
|
Bra Shopping (0)A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my ... |
|
