Jokes
Best | Newest | Most comments | Most views | Favourites
|
Family Pants (0)Jack and Jill were getting married. Jack was talking to his dad about the marriage when his dad says, "I remember when your mom and I got married. ... |
|
Cosmetic Surgery (0)A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, ... |
|
|
|
Chinese Couple (0)A Chinese couple had a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy. "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new ... |
|
Efficiency Expert (0)An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody ... |
|
|
|
Garden of Eden (0)Adam was strolling through the Garden of Eden, and he asked God, "God can you put someone else on this planet with me? It's kind of lonely ... |
|
Baby Hermaphrodite (0)A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, "I have something to tell you about your child.." The woman ... |
|
|
|
Drive them wild (0)Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money |
|
Skeletons fight (0)Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other? A. They don't have the guts. |
|
|
|
Do You Have The Time (0)A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell ... |
|
Negotiations (0)Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe ... |
|
|
|
Old Country Delivery (0)An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no ... |
|
Doctor Orders A Birthday Cake (0)For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: "You are not getting older, You are just getting better." When ... |
|
|
|
Doctor And Lawyer Talk (0)A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the ... |
|
Four Types of Patients (0)Some surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to opperate on. You open ... |
|
|
|
The Doctor (0)A Doctor passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately, he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, ... |
|
Circumcision (0)Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, "What are you in here for?" The other says, ... |
|
|
|
Cremate Me (0)A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And ... |
|
Crazy Patients (0)A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending ... |
|
|
|
Labour Pains (0)A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would ... |
|
Lethal Food (0)A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting ... |
|
|
|
Mental Release (0)A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The ... |
|
How to annoy a archaeologist (0)How do you annoy an archaeologist? give him a tampon and ask what period it came from. |
|
|
|
Sherlock Holmes (0)Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours ... |
|
Breakfast at any time. (0)I went to a restaurant with a sign that said they served breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. |
|
|
|
Unfaithful Wife (0)A guy tells his psychiatrist: It was terrible. I was away on business, and I wired my wife that I'd be back a day early. I rushed home from the ... |
|
The neighbour (0)bob looked over the fence to see why his neighbour was digging and said to his neighbour' why are u digging and his neighbour said ''my fish is dead ... |
|
|
|
Five surgeons (0)Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my ... |
|
Understand woman (0)There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, ... |
|
|
|
Camouflage Training (0)During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You ... |
|
Chemistry Set (0)A father came home and asked where his son was. His wife replied that he was downstairs playing with his new chemistry set. The father was curious, ... |
|
