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Always By My Side (0)A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he ... |
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Control (0)There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains ... |
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Coming Home Late (0)Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home ... |
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Cocktail party (0)At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I ... |
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Deaf (0)A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?" The doctor replies, "Try this ... |
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Female Comebacks (0)Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one ... |
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Anyone Here (0)Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all ... |
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Beer, eh (0)A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer ... |
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Anniversary (0)A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia." His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What are you ... |
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Bad News, Good News, Great News (0)The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. "We're sorry to call on you ... |
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Bra Shopping (0)A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my ... |
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Airplane ride (0)A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," ... |
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2 programmers on a highway (0)Two computer programmers are driving on a Highway. They switch on the radio and there is a warning: Please note that a car is driving on highway 75 ... |
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The Farmer on the plane (0)A farmer, who is not familiar with new technolagy, never went on a plane, but had to visit his sick daughter in California. He asked the flight ... |
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Gates and Lightbulb (0)Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change the lightbulb?? A: None. He just calls a meeting & makes darkness the standard. |
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3 nuns (0)There were 3 nuns in the church 2 were crying 1 was laughing the preist walked up to a crying 1 and said 'why are you crying' the nun said i killed ... |
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Men went fishing (0)Two Morons rent a rowboat, row out a way, throw their lines in and try fishing. Nothing happens. One fellow says to the other, we have to row out ... |
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A carrot in his ear (0)A guy goes into the bar with a carrot in his ear. He orders a drink. The bar tender wants to mention the carrot but doesn't. Next day the same guy ... |
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Mushroom in a bar (0)This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... She turns him down flat but the mushroom is persistent. Not willing, to give up, ... |
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Two strings (0)These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this ... |
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Judge has some fun (0)A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and ... |
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Undercover detective (0)A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?" "No, I am an undercover detective." "So why are you in uniform?" "Today is my day ... |
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Try to explain women (0)A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. "Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead". "OK," ... |
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How fast was I going? (0)"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old." |
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Where is your wife? (0)On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which ... |
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Go give us a donation (0)Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's Al ... |
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Breaking into a house (0)A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in ... |
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A test for being drunk (0)A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to ... |
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The reason for running (0)A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he ... |
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Should have glasses (0)A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I ... |
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