Jokes
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Breakfast at any time. (0)I went to a restaurant with a sign that said they served breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. |
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Chemistry Set (0)A father came home and asked where his son was. His wife replied that he was downstairs playing with his new chemistry set. The father was curious, ... |
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Panama. (0)"Gary, what you know about panama canal "Our television doesn't have this channel." |
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How to annoy a archaeologist (0)How do you annoy an archaeologist? give him a tampon and ask what period it came from. |
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Doctor. (0)Doctor is sitting on Karl's bed" Now, Karl what is aching?" "The leg what you are sitting on!" Says Karl. |
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Sherlock Holmes (0)Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours ... |
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Four Types of Patients (0)Some surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to opperate on. You open ... |
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Lethal Food (0)A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting ... |
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Swerve to avoid a box (0)Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for ... |
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Looking into their eyes (0)A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice ... |
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Lexus Is Smart (0)A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back,complaining that the radio was not working. "Madam," said the ... |
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New person in prison (0)A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer ... |
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How many drummers? (0)Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed ... |
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Catching the shoplifter (0)A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any ... |
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Records, meant to be broken (0)His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished ... |
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Dealing with criminals (0)A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this ... |
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Doctor And Lawyer Talk (0)A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the ... |
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2 piccolos (0)Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison? A: Shoot one. |
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Working in the garden (0)A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant ... |
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Spaghetti (0)A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she ... |
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Catch a drunk driver (0)Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, ... |
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Lost far from a home (0)A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman ... |
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Dealing with a juggler (0)Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them ... |
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1st President!! (0)The discovery that Bush's resting heart rate is 43 has led some observers to speculate that this is the first time we've had a president with a heart ... |
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Should have glasses (0)A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I ... |
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The reason for running (0)A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he ... |
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A test for being drunk (0)A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to ... |
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Ancient Republican Proverb (0)Teach a man to light a fire and he will be warm forever. But throw him into the fire and he will never again complain about being cold. |
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Gates and Lightbulb (0)Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change the lightbulb?? A: None. He just calls a meeting & makes darkness the standard. |
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Breaking into a house (0)A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in ... |
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