Jokes
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Mental Release (0)A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The ... |
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Camouflage Training (0)During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You ... |
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Unfaithful Wife (0)A guy tells his psychiatrist: It was terrible. I was away on business, and I wired my wife that I'd be back a day early. I rushed home from the ... |
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Crazy Patients (0)A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending ... |
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Circumcision (0)Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, "What are you in here for?" The other says, ... |
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Chemistry Set (0)A father came home and asked where his son was. His wife replied that he was downstairs playing with his new chemistry set. The father was curious, ... |
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Dealing with criminals (0)A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this ... |
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Breakfast at any time. (0)I went to a restaurant with a sign that said they served breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. |
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Catching the shoplifter (0)A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any ... |
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Four Types of Patients (0)Some surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to opperate on. You open ... |
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How to annoy a archaeologist (0)How do you annoy an archaeologist? give him a tampon and ask what period it came from. |
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Working in the garden (0)A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant ... |
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Sherlock Holmes (0)Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours ... |
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Doctor And Lawyer Talk (0)A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the ... |
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Lethal Food (0)A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting ... |
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The reason for running (0)A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he ... |
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A test for being drunk (0)A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to ... |
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Lost far from a home (0)A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman ... |
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Catch a drunk driver (0)Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, ... |
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Dealing with a juggler (0)Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them ... |
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Should have glasses (0)A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I ... |
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Breaking into a house (0)A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in ... |
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Go give us a donation (0)Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's Al ... |
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Gates and Lightbulb (0)Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change the lightbulb?? A: None. He just calls a meeting & makes darkness the standard. |
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Baby Hermaphrodite (0)A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, "I have something to tell you about your child.." The woman ... |
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How many drummers? (0)Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed ... |
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Where is your wife? (0)On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which ... |
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Lexus Is Smart (0)A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back,complaining that the radio was not working. "Madam," said the ... |
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Try to explain women (0)A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. "Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead". "OK," ... |
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Judge has some fun (0)A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and ... |
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