Jokes
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7 years (1)A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring ... |
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Watch ur Language! (0)Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some ... |
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Records, meant to be broken (0)His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished ... |
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Ancient Republican Proverb (0)Teach a man to light a fire and he will be warm forever. But throw him into the fire and he will never again complain about being cold. |
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Lexus Is Smart (0)A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back,complaining that the radio was not working. "Madam," said the ... |
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1st President!! (0)The discovery that Bush's resting heart rate is 43 has led some observers to speculate that this is the first time we've had a president with a heart ... |
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Spaghetti (0)A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she ... |
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How many drummers? (0)Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed ... |
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2 piccolos (0)Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison? A: Shoot one. |
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She was really good (0)Attorney: How did you happen to go to Dr. Cheney? Witness: Well a gal down the road had several of her children by Dr. Cheney, and she said he was ... |
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Help From the KGB (1)A phone rings at KGB headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the KGB?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel ... |
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Hair Styke (0)A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too ... |
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Chemistry Set (0)A father came home and asked where his son was. His wife replied that he was downstairs playing with his new chemistry set. The father was curious, ... |
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Camouflage Training (0)During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You ... |
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Understand woman (0)There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, ... |
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Five surgeons (0)Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my ... |
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The neighbour (0)bob looked over the fence to see why his neighbour was digging and said to his neighbour' why are u digging and his neighbour said ''my fish is dead ... |
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Unfaithful Wife (0)A guy tells his psychiatrist: It was terrible. I was away on business, and I wired my wife that I'd be back a day early. I rushed home from the ... |
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Breakfast at any time. (0)I went to a restaurant with a sign that said they served breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. |
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Sherlock Holmes (0)Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours ... |
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How to annoy a archaeologist (0)How do you annoy an archaeologist? give him a tampon and ask what period it came from. |
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Mental Release (0)A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The ... |
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Lethal Food (0)A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting ... |
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Labour Pains (0)A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would ... |
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Crazy Patients (0)A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending ... |
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Cremate Me (0)A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And ... |
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Circumcision (0)Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, "What are you in here for?" The other says, ... |
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The Doctor (0)A Doctor passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately, he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, ... |
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Four Types of Patients (0)Some surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to opperate on. You open ... |
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Doctor And Lawyer Talk (0)A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the ... |
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