Jokes
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7 years (1)A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring ... |
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Invisible man . (1)"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor says, "Tell him I can't see him!" |
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She was really good (0)Attorney: How did you happen to go to Dr. Cheney? Witness: Well a gal down the road had several of her children by Dr. Cheney, and she said he was ... |
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The man without woman is nothing! (0)An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the ... |
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Watch ur Language! (0)Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some ... |
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Good joke. (0)There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away! |
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Circumsize a redneck (2)Q: How do you circumsize a redneck? A: You kick his sister in the jaw. |
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Presidential timepieces (0)A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called the "George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no ... |
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Air Force One crash lands (0)Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got ... |
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Job Interview (0)A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, ... |
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Help From the KGB (1)A phone rings at KGB headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the KGB?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel ... |
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Hair Styke (0)A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too ... |
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Restaurant. (0)A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and ... |
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Boot. (0)Luisa is running on raini street, big black boot on one leg, but on the other leg is only sock. "Luisa did you lost your boot?" Luisa:" No I found ... |
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Pessimist and optimist. (0)What's the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist. |
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Tickets. (0)Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all ... |
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Cremate Me (0)A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And ... |
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Understand woman (0)There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, ... |
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Potatoes. (0)A Scottish farmer was in his field digging up his tatties (a Scots word for potatoes). An American farmer looked over the fence and said "In Texas ... |
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The neighbour (0)bob looked over the fence to see why his neighbour was digging and said to his neighbour' why are u digging and his neighbour said ''my fish is dead ... |
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Smiles. (0)What is the longest word in the English language? "Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters! |
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Unfaithful Wife (0)A guy tells his psychiatrist: It was terrible. I was away on business, and I wired my wife that I'd be back a day early. I rushed home from the ... |
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Five surgeons (0)Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my ... |
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Circumcision (0)Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, "What are you in here for?" The other says, ... |
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The Doctor (0)A Doctor passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately, he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, ... |
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Labour Pains (0)A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would ... |
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Mental Release (0)A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The ... |
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Camouflage Training (0)During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You ... |
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Boot. (0)Luisa is running on raini street, big black boot on one leg, but on the other leg is only sock. "Luisa did you lost your boot?" Luisa:" No I found ... |
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Crazy Patients (0)A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending ... |
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