Jokes
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7 years (1)A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring ... |
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She was really good (0)Attorney: How did you happen to go to Dr. Cheney? Witness: Well a gal down the road had several of her children by Dr. Cheney, and she said he was ... |
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The man without woman is nothing! (0)An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the ... |
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Watch ur Language! (0)Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some ... |
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Good joke. (0)There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away! |
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Circumsize a redneck (2)Q: How do you circumsize a redneck? A: You kick his sister in the jaw. |
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Presidential timepieces (0)A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called the "George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no ... |
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Air Force One crash lands (0)Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got ... |
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Job Interview (0)A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, ... |
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Restaurant. (0)A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and ... |
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Pessimist and optimist. (0)What's the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist. |
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Potatoes. (0)A Scottish farmer was in his field digging up his tatties (a Scots word for potatoes). An American farmer looked over the fence and said "In Texas ... |
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Tickets. (0)Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all ... |
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Boot. (0)Luisa is running on raini street, big black boot on one leg, but on the other leg is only sock. "Luisa did you lost your boot?" Luisa:" No I found ... |
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Invisible man . (1)"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor says, "Tell him I can't see him!" |
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Smiles. (0)What is the longest word in the English language? "Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters! |
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Boot. (0)Luisa is running on raini street, big black boot on one leg, but on the other leg is only sock. "Luisa did you lost your boot?" Luisa:" No I found ... |
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Doctor. (0)Doctor is sitting on Karl's bed" Now, Karl what is aching?" "The leg what you are sitting on!" Says Karl. |
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Panama. (0)"Gary, what you know about panama canal "Our television doesn't have this channel." |
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Help From the KGB (1)A phone rings at KGB headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the KGB?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel ... |
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Hair Styke (0)A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too ... |
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Swerve to avoid a box (0)Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for ... |
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Understand woman (0)There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, ... |
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Cremate Me (0)A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And ... |
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Looking into their eyes (0)A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice ... |
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Labour Pains (0)A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would ... |
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New person in prison (0)A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer ... |
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The neighbour (0)bob looked over the fence to see why his neighbour was digging and said to his neighbour' why are u digging and his neighbour said ''my fish is dead ... |
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The Doctor (0)A Doctor passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately, he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, ... |
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Five surgeons (0)Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my ... |
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