Jokes
Best | Newest | Most comments | Most views | Favourites
|
Invisible man (2)"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor says, "Tell him I can't see him! |
|
Circumsize a redneck (2)Q: How do you circumsize a redneck? A: You kick his sister in the jaw. |
|
 |
||||
|
|
Presidential timepieces (0)A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called the "George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no ... |
|
Air Force One crash lands (0)Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got ... |
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Job Interview (0)A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, ... |
|
Restaurant. (0)A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and ... |
|
|
|
Smiles. (0)What is the longest word in the English language? "Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters! |
|
Good joke. (0)There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away! |
|
|
||||
|
|
The man without woman is nothing! (0)An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the ... |
|
Pessimist and optimist. (0)What's the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist. |
|
|
|
Potatoes. (0)A Scottish farmer was in his field digging up his tatties (a Scots word for potatoes). An American farmer looked over the fence and said "In Texas ... |
|
Tickets. (0)Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all ... |
|
|
|
Doctor. (0)Doctor is sitting on Karl's bed" Now, Karl what is aching?" "The leg what you are sitting on!" Says Karl. |
|
Boot. (0)Luisa is running on raini street, big black boot on one leg, but on the other leg is only sock. "Luisa did you lost your boot?" Luisa:" No I found ... |
|
|
|
Boot. (0)Luisa is running on raini street, big black boot on one leg, but on the other leg is only sock. "Luisa did you lost your boot?" Luisa:" No I found ... |
|
Panama. (0)"Gary, what you know about panama canal "Our television doesn't have this channel." |
|
|
||||
|
|
Swerve to avoid a box (0)Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for ... |
|
Looking into their eyes (0)A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice ... |
|
|
|
Dealing with criminals (0)A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this ... |
|
New person in prison (0)A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer ... |
|
|
|
Catching the shoplifter (0)A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any ... |
|
Working in the garden (0)A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant ... |
|
|
|
Catch a drunk driver (0)Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, ... |
|
Lost far from a home (0)A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman ... |
|
|
|
Dealing with a juggler (0)Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them ... |
|
Should have glasses (0)A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I ... |
|
|
|
The reason for running (0)A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he ... |
|
A test for being drunk (0)A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to ... |
|
|
|
Breaking into a house (0)A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in ... |
|
Go give us a donation (0)Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's Al ... |
|
